The Words of Kabutroid
Wow, now there's an update, eh? I'm pretty sure that most people didn't expect the things that I posted over the weekend. It was amazing fun. My drag mom Sandi Bay gave me a makeover beforehand...
Y'know, something just occured to me, there's probably a very strong chance that a significant number of people reading this are probably more interested in the whole 'adopting a second family' part. All of this kinda ties together here, so bear with me for a minute.
So anyway, oohh... where to even start on this one. A whole lotta things tie together from a whole pile of varied directions, but I suppose the heart of it sits somewhere around the statement "drag as a form of art". I live for my art, and if I felt nothing else on that stage, I certainly felt alive. This isn't something that I've stepped into unexpectedly, or even quickly. And everyone adopts eachother in their own ways with things like this.
It's difficult to explain what I feel in my heart, but the closest approximation to what I feel towards Sandi is 'mom'. It's a very personal environment, drag. You're very close to others, in a very vulnerable way. To get ready for my drag performance, I showed up at my mom's place at about 5:00pm, basically knowing nothing about what to expect.
Y'see, I've never had a makeover prior to this. Foundation or concealer or any of that such have never had the opportunity to touch my face. I've used eyeshadow, lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, nailpolish, and blush or an eyebrow pencil a handful of times. I could go into a whole pile of reasons around why that's not more extensive, but that would end up being an unbelievably elaborate and boring explanation that prattles on about random tangents that seem to go nowhere, and I don't think anyone really wants to read about that right now.
So anyway, she asked me to bring my eyeshadow palette (Claire's 36 colour), and that was used for much of the colouring! Lot of other things that I'm slowly learning to identify, but opportunity/experience/etc. I sat there for a glorious hour while I was transformed into TanisCee Bay. Most of the clothing wasn't mine, so Sandi lent me much of hers, and we were able to pull together this outfit from the various things available.
That aside, you can hopefully imagine how... sensitive some of the parts of this process are going to be. I'm a transwoman, early-on in transition with my breasts beginning to grow in, removing the vast majority of my clothing in front of, at the time, for all intents and purposes a near stranger. At no point of this was I nervous or unsettled, or in any way uncomfortable. We were pleasantly chatting for much of the time, though an even longer portion was spent in near-silence while the makeup was being applied. There is an incredible amount of focus and steady-handedness that goes into applying this makeup, as well as an incredibly creative mind to pull together looks like this.
We knew eachother a thousands times better at the end of that experience than we had before I had stepped in.
I keep looking at the Matryoshka doll and Loch Ness monster that emulate my mom and dad, and I occasionally ask them if they would be ok with me doing something. I've talked to them when I came out as trans, I've talked to them when I got divorced, and I've talked to them about adopting my new mom. They both seem fine with it :)
There's a second family, too. Most of my first family is spread far and wide across the continent. One lives a few towns away, and the others live thousands of kilometers away in different directions. I've asked shelf mom and dad if they would be fine with me accepting a second family into my life, to go alongside the first one that's spread a little bit thin. Mom and dad dolls are telling me that it's ok, and that these are good people to have in my life.
And so, I push onwards. I live for my art, and my art can be livestreamed! Until the opportunity arises for me to perform as TanisCee Bay again, I'm going to keep pursuing my livestream, keep creating my dragons, keep making things for others, and keep trying to move into a new room. As of present, aside from building up my Patreon to become self-supportive, my primary objective is to obtain new shelter.
Just one small room in a shared house is all I need :)
Kabutroid/Kabuthunk/TanisCee Bay/Tannis Harder